In Two Places At Once

When A Walk to Remember hit the big screen ten years ago, it became a favorite to the hopeful and hopeless romantics alike. I am guilty as charged. One of my favorite scenes was when Landon (Shane West) brought Jaime (Mandy Moore) to the state border. He made her put her left foot on one side of the border and the right on the other. Viola! Her wish to be in two places at once was fulfilled.

Cute, isn’t it?

As for me, I have my own version of being in two places at once.

I grew up somewhere in the metro east where there is a stretch of road called Imelda Avenue (formerly Felix Avenue). It’s adjacent (naks, adjacent) to Marcos High-way on the north and Ortigas Ext. Avenue on the south. On one side you are in Pasig but when you cross the street, you are in Cainta already. Stand on the isle and viola; you’re in two places at once.

Here’s another one: it’s the place in between singleness and parenthood. It’s where you want to leave the rest of the world behind chasing your boldest dreams but you can’t because you’re responsible for another soul and where you want to give everything you have to nurture that special being but you can’t because your hands are tied by the meager resources of a young single person.

Awkward.

You want to bond with your fellow singles but you have to be home early to read bedtime stories and make kamot to the likod of an adorable kid. You try to discuss issues with other mothers but find yourself quite lost when they start sharing married-life struggles.

Disorienting.

Not knowing where to go, to the right, to the left, to stand perfectly still or just evaporate like a mist.

I am not an isolated case. Even though each of you is related to a single-mom and this world has become so familiar with our presence, no one understands our struggles completely. Parenthood is one thing, single-parenthood another.

I’ve been crying out to God for the longest time. Lord, ang hirap! Being both the mother and the father. Nurturing and providing. Caring and protecting.

Singleness and parenthood. I realized what I was doing: STRUGGLING. Struggling to get out of the place where God has placed me and trying to fit in either of the two worlds. I found myself out of placed. Torn.

What I did not understand was this: Single-parenthood is a unique season on its own. God has put a unique set of challenges upon me so that I would become the unique person He designed me to be. A person that He can one day use for His great and mighty purposes.
God is the author of our life’s story.
To the other single-moms, God wants to tell us that He will increase our faith as He continues to stretch us. He will give us faith if we had none to start off with. He will meet us wherever we are. Even to the darkest alley, He will be there to walk us through. We need not worry about making both ends meet. His arms are long enough to cover the whole earth. Kung gusto mo, pati whole universe!He will be our Mentor. We can triumph each day’s challenges, from dragging a sleepy grade-schooler out of his bed to changing soaked bed sheets at night.

He will be our Best friend. We can rant out our frustrations and disappointments, 24/7 and know that He won’t fall asleep.

He will be our Husband. We can sleep soundly, comforted, loved and assured that there will be a budget for the grocery, tuition fee, school bus, Happy Meals, Kiddie Meals and trips to the toy store.

Kaya ikaw, go-getter mom, stop struggling and start trusting in His awesome power. Even though you want to run away, stand still and know that He is God.
I speak to you as if our circumstances are the same but wherever road, border or high-way you are right now, let His word be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. (Psalm 119:150)

My son will turn seven on January 16. Standing on this place called single-parenthood has been amazing for me. I’m at awe as I look back to the past seven long years. Joyful, excruciating, wonderful, exciting, painful and exhilarating. These are only a few adjectives for the mix of emotions this rollercoaster ride has been – so far. Nevertheless, I declare God has certainly been faithful to His promises of redemption, protection, strength, comfort, direction and provision.

Just like how Jamie thought Landon was acting crazy, we might think that God doesn’t know what He’s doing. But He does. And it’s really an exciting and nakakakilig thing. *twinkle twinkle*

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