Can’t Wait on Love? iJowa 7.0 is for You!

Sick of your boyfriend/girlfriend and need a quick fix?
Down and need to perk up your day?
Bored and want to spice up your life?

‘Wag nang malumbay. We have the greatest offers for you!

Check out the latest iJowa 7.0

The all new iJowa 7.0

Hindi lang kape ang instant. Ngayon, pati boyfriend at girlfriend na rin.

Comes in iBoylet and iSyota versions. We have one (or two) for everyone.
Can be customized. Add and delete features that suits your needs.
Hundreds of exciting themes to choose from. Cats & Dogs (away-bati ang peg), No Other Woman (the more the merrier daw), and many more.
Voice command system. Follows orders such as “Mag-diet ka na, ang taba mo” or “Bili mo ko nun, bili mo ko nyan”, and more.
Easy to switch off and on again. Just switch off the phone and viola, you can forget about your iJowa for a  while.
Outright replacement within 7 days. We have anticipated your short attention span and flickering interests. In case you change your mind within the warranty period, we will happily replace your device. Just visit any iJowa outlets near you.

Easy to get started with. Simply download and install the following applications:

1. iPanic: How old are you? You’re still single. Mawawala na edad mo sa kalendaryo.

2. iFlirt: Try out different features to help you find the one that suits your taste. You need a cellphone and an unlitext subscription for this. (Go unlicalls to speed up the process.)

3. iCompromise: Lower your standards. ‘Wag nang choosy.

4. iRush: Why wait when you can have everything? Now. Get yours. Now. Baka maunahan ka pa ng iba. Now. **

5. iIndulge: Go ahead! You deserve this. Life’s a party. Tugs tugs. **

**Bundled with a postpaid plan. Use all you can, pay later. Low interest rates.

Hurry! Get this awesome package. Now na. Agad agad.

Why settle for less when you can have more? Why settle for less when you can have the best?

Want something that won’t bug down on you anytime, you can treasure and lasts a lifetime? 

Know this plan exclusive for the patient and faithfuls. Go old school with the tried and tested iWait 101 by God.

100% handmade. Lovingly handcrafted by the Master Creator in His workshop called Heaven.

100% perfect for you. May have some a lot of flaws but guaranteed God’s best for you.

100% unique design for everyone. He/She’s the top of the line designed especially for you alone.

With FREE lifetime connection to the source of Grace. Easy to get started with (but hard to finish off — that’s why you need lifetime Grace). Simply download and install the following applications:

1. iSurrender: Give up the pen to God; He’s in charge of the writing.

2. iWait: God’s best needs months, years or even decades of pruning, sharpening and molding. Wait ’til the Maker is done. ‘Wag excited much; may lakad?

3. iServe: Test run for the real deal without compromising your standards. Gusto mo na mag-asawa, marunong ka ba magwalis man lang?

4. iYield: Submit to the Potter’s hand. You’re also a work in progress — God’s best for someone.

5. iCommit: No return, no exchange. Go for the lifetime warranty.

All applications are FREE from the Master’s Guide Book called the Bible. Go ahead. Read it.

O, ano pang hinihintay mo, Pasko?

© Christine Joy Cabrera
Love is waiting

Valentines muna noh. At para mas malinaw ang pananaw mo sa pag-ibig, hindi parang nag-cacanvass ng panibagong gadget, tayo na’t mag-chacha-cha/tumambling/kumembot/umisplit papuntang Victory Greenhills Center sa February 16, 2013 (Saturday), 3:00 – 6:00 PM.

Makinig at matuto sa kwentong pag-ibig nina Joseph Bonifacio at Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio.

Hard sell na kung hard sell. Ano man ang relationship status mo, invited ka! IT’S A DATE!!!!

What will you do?


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