How to Forgive Your EX

Pinaasa, sinaktan, at niloko niya ako. Hindi lang ‘yon; pagkatapos kunin ang lahat-lahat, iniwan akong nakahandusay na parang basahan. Paano ko mapapatawad ang ganong klaseng tao?  Walang puso! Mabuti pa ang saging meron… *ahuhuhu* Dapat sa kanya burahin na sa mapa *kontrabida laugh*

Ang original na plano, seryoso ang post na ‘to. Pero hindi ko pala kaya. Pag kasi usapang EX, hindi na ako ‘yung mukang nagpapak ng ampalaya sa ka-bitteran. Natatawa na lang ako.

Ganito ang conversation sa tuwing kakamustahin sa’kin ang ex ko:

New friend: Kamusta naman yung ex mo?

Ako: Okay naman siya. Yata.

New friend: Bakit yata? hindi ba kayo nag-uusap?

Ako: Hindi na. Eye contact nga wala, usap pa kaya. Galit siya sa’kin.

New friend: Ay, bakit?

Ako: Hmmm… *kibit-balikat* Mas pinili ko kasi ‘yung true love ko kesa sa kanya.

New friend: Huh, sino? Nasaan? *hanap sa paligid*

Ako: Si Jesus. ❤

New friend: Oooh…

Sa ngayon, parang ang dali lang mag-joke tungkol sa nakaraan. Pero dati, ang sagot ko ay, “Ayun, pinadukot at pinatapon ko sa liblib na talahiban.” 🙂

Masama ba ako kung ganun ang gusto kong mangyari? Pinaasa, sinaktan, niloko, AT ginamit din ako. Pero paano nga ba ako umabot sa puntong pinagdadasal ko, hindi para masagasaan siya ng pison, kundi para makilala din niya si Hesus at ma-experience niya yung same love and forgiveness na naranasan ko.

May tatlong aral na gusto akong ibahagi sa mga kapwa ko dumaan at dumadaan sa hiwalayan at mapapait na karanasan dulot nito.

Experience God’s forgiveness.

This is where all the healing begins. From what I understand, God’s forgiveness leads from His mercy and grace. Mercy is not getting the death that you oh-so-much deserve. Grace is getting the life that you oh-so-much don’t deserve. Both of which we receive freely through faith in Jesus Christ. As the old sayings go, you cannot give what you don’t have; you cannot pour from an empty cup. But you cannot fill an already full cup either. Acknowledge the magnitude of your sins against a Holy God; accept that you need forgiveness and come to Him empty, needing to be filled.

Forgive the person.

Easier said than done, huh. Can we really forgive hideous offenses? In our finite nature, we cannot. We are merely #2 pencils with a small bud of eraser at the end. Utter thanks to God because, in His sovereign and infinite ways, He came up with His version of this pink eraser for BIG mistakes.

If our life is one big composition notebook and we write down errors on all the pages (which most of the time we do), God’s eraser is still bigger than all our mistakes. So, when you’ve experienced God’s mercy and grace, you don’t have the right NOT to forgive. Even if you don’t feel like it, forgive. Even if he’s not asking for forgiveness, forgive. Even when you’re on the right and he’s on the wrong, forgive. Even after promising you the stars and the moon, he’s now married and having a baby with a different girl, forgive. Accept that your ex is not God that he can fulfill all your expectations.

God forgave you when you least deserved it; why won’t you forgive others, too? If His forgiveness fills your heart, you will just overflow. The reason why you release forgiveness is not for you to avoid stress to your cerebro-cardiovascular system, thus prolong your life. It’s not about you. It’s about honoring God with all that you do.

Forgive yourself.

Now, you learned your lesson and moved on. But you still blame yourself for being too vulnerable, too stupid, and too naive to have allowed him to hurt you. You try to compensate your past foolishness by striving to live a better life. It’s good but it doesn’t solve the problem.

You turned into a blacksmith and forged a dual-purpose metal case for your heart. It serves as a cage where you punish yourself by believing that you don’t have the right to be happy again. You need to refocus your lenses, girl. God’s grace emPOWERS us to trust and love again at the right time with the right person. It’s also an iron gate where you lock other people out. It’s like saying, I won’t let anyone hurt me again. I’m stronger, wiser now. Yeah right. Bad news, the people closest to us are the ones who hurt us the most. Unless you live under a rock, you will get your heart skinned over and over again.

Don’t panic. Just go back to #1, crawl if you have to, right there at the foot of the cross. You will see how someone you’ve hurt so much just keeps on loving you. In the same way, you ought to forgive over and over again. Yes, most especially yourself.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Matthew 18:21-22

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Like if you can relate and pray to forgive someday.

Share and tag a friend whom you know can relate and prays he/she can forgive someday. 🙂