To my dear brothers (Mild Version)

Yep, tama ang basa mo: MILD.

SEVERE ang level ng password protected version ng post na ito. Para sa mga matitibay lang ang sikmura. Hihi. Pero dahil may mga nagrequest na i-publish ko yun, eto na ang edited and mild version ng aking pang-uudyok sa aking mga kapatid na lalaki sa pananampalataya. Babala: kailangan pa rin matibay ang sikmura mo dito.

Guard! Guard! Guard your ♥

Guarding the heart. Bukambibig sa simbahan. Kabilin-bilinan ng mga mentors. Ilang beses ko na-blog ang tungkol dito. Bakit ba ito ganun ka-importante?

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

Kailangan daw bantayan kung anong nilalaman ng puso dahil ito ang pinagmumulan ng lahat sa buhay mo. Lahat ng iniisip, sinasabi at kinikilos. Applicable ‘to lalo na sa usaping pag-ibig.

Ikaw, ako, tayong lahat ay nararapat maging mapangmatyag, mapanuri at, oo, matanglawin pagdating sa pinapapasok natin sa’ting puso. Kasi makakaapekto ito sa mga desisyon natin sa buhay. Ngunit hindi tayo nabubuhay mag-isa. Habang binabantayan mo ang iyong puso, kasama sa tamang pakikihalubilo ang guarding others’ heart. Kailangan bantayan kung anong epekto mo sa ibang tao. We are also called to honor each other, especially the opposite sex, by protecting them at all costs.

Lip Service

Minsan, madaling magsalita pero mahirap gumawa. Sa church, kayang i-recite ng mga single na kababaihan at kalalakihan ang Proverbs 4:23 kahit nakapikit. Pero bakit meron parin mga pusong hindi sinasadyang nagagalusan o nasusugatan. Parang paper cut — biglaan, maliit ngunit masakit. Hiwa dito, hiwa doon. Pag naipon, sobra ang hapdi. we find it hard to draw the line between just being friendly and being too personal. We get lost in the grey areas.

Paper cut

Hindi ibig sabihin na nasa church ang isang tao ay perpekto na siya. Tayong lahat ay mananatiling makasarili ngunit patuloy na binabago ng Panginoon. Ngunit wag sana itong maging dahilan para ang mga salita ay  maging salita na lamang. Kailangan may mga praktikal na hakbang din para magampaman ang tungkuling ito.

Faith without works is useless.

James 2:20

How Not to?

Here are few practical tips on how a guy can guard the heart of his sister in Christ (all of them straight from Christian guys I surveyed). If you’re a guy and you say you want to guard the heart of your sister in Christ, you don’t:

  • Go out with her alone on one-on-one lakad like malling, watching a movie, eating out, etc. even if you don’t call it a “date”. Ask some friends to accompany you. Go with the whole barangay.
  • Take her home (make hatid). Unless you are planning to make hatid all the girls that you are with.
  • Say “I like you” or “I love you”. Self-explanatory.
  • Text love quotes or mushy stuff. Again, self-explanatory.
  • Call her pet names or terms of endearment. Again and again.
  • Text her constantly, throughout the day. Daig mo pa ang text subscription sa dalas ng pagtext mo sa kanya.
  • Ask if someone is courting her now. Kung meron, anong gagawin mo? Kung wala, ano rin ang gagawin mo?
  • Ask what did she eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner o kung kumain na siya. Kung hindi pa, papakainin mo ba siya?
  • Do one-on-one counseling. Wag magpaka-Papa Jack. If necessary, ask another person to accompany you. Preferably a woman.

HOWEVER, please note that emotional purity is not a list of do’s and don’ts. At the end of the day, it’s not about following a set of rules but wanting to honor God in every relationship you have. It’s about having the desire to keep emotionally pure while waiting for the person God has for you.

Mahirap masabihan ng legalistic. Ang sabi, ang babae raw ay dapat maghintay. Nasa kamay ng mga lalake ang bola. But men should NOT use this privilege to test the waters before they step up and make a decision to pursue the girl because in the process of doing so, you leave paper cuts — shallow wounds that heal fast but leave scars anyway.

To my brothers, if you are building a relationship with a girl who is not your girlfriend/you are not courting/you don’t have intentions of pursuing, please be a man and protect her.

Parang may pinaghuhugutan ka, Yna. Oo, meron. Hinugot ko ito sa kaibuturan ng aking puso. It is out of love that I urge you, dear brothers, be mighty warriors. Nagdarasal at umaasa ako na patuloy kikilos ang Panginoon sa buhay ng mga kapatid kong lalake sa pananampalataya. That God will continue to raise you up as godly men fighting for sexual and emotional purity. At the same time, He will also continually mold us, women, to stand up for the same thing. After all, it takes two to tango.

(Abangan ang Part 2: To my dear sisters)

4 thoughts on “To my dear brothers (Mild Version)

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