Merriam-Webster defines rejection as the state of being refused, denied, repulsed, or casted off. To us, who have been rejected, no word can describe the disheartening feeling of being unwanted and unloved.
Cue in: Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie song.
Pero bago tayo mag-walling and all, let’s take a closer look at rejection and why I say it’s okay.
Rejection is a mindset.
State of being means a “condition of mind or temperament.”(Merriam-Webster Dictionary Android App, 2014)
When we get a NO, it’s a default to think, feel, and act crappy about ourselves. Crappy means markedly inferior. We start to think nobody wants me… I’m unlovable… I’m not good enough… But you know what, when we get a no, it’s because the other person had a different preference and not because we are not preferable at all.
Weh? Okay, let me unwrap that sugarcoated statement and be brutally honest. Our selfie generation wants us to feel good about ourselves. Sometimes, we are. We’re cute, funny, smart, etc. But when we zero in to our inner selfie, we are downright disgusting and abhorrent. Our sinful nature gives a holy God every right to reject us. Forever.
Rejection has an antidote.
Here’s the good news and proof that rejection is just a mindset:
God chose to accept our imperfections and to love us perfectly even when we least deserved it. (Romans 5:8) Jesus was rejected so we can be accepted. Amazing, isn’t it?
The antidote to rejection is God’s unconditional love. When we have this, we become rejection-proof.
That same love replaces our rejected mindset and grants us the I.D. as God’s Chosen and Beloved. (I Thessalonians 1:4)
Mindset is who we think we are; identity is who we really are. And as God’s chosen and beloved, we are:
When you post a new selfie on facebook or instagram and nobody hits like, you’re honestly okay. Your security and identity is in Christ alone, not in your multitude of likers and followers or lack thereof. Pero check mo rin: baka naman naka-private yung post mo kaya walang nag-like. 🙂
When all your friends or friends of friends or cousins of your neighbor’s friends are getting in a relationship or engaged and yet, here you are, reading blogs on the perks of singleness, swooning over God-orchestrated love stories, and, still waiting. Patiently and joyfully.
You KNOW and BELIEVE that God has a masterplan for your life and it includes your love life. No digit in the calendar, thermometer, or bingo card can pressure you to jump into a relationship with the first guy who winks at you or the girl in a red t-shirt who walks by when you eat in a resto. Eh red t-shirt pala ang uniform ng mga staff dun. Lahat sila naka-red. So, paano?
When a guy makes pa-sweet and acts super nice to you, tells you he likes to know you more yet doesn’t push through, apologizes for stirring a tidal wave of emotions, and moves on to pursue a different girl…
or when you’re a guy and you pray hard, prepare to court the girl you like, ask her, and she says NO…
…you cry your eyes out –okay, konti lang– but you know you’ll be alright. Maybe not now but by God’s grace you will get there.
You choose to shake off the screaming lies “you’re not good enough” and “you’re not worth it”. You cling to the truth that when nobody wants to take you, God already took you.
Rejection brings us to a point of desperation.
I remember a friend posted something like this during the Yolanda relief efforts:
You will never appreciate the value of a canned relief good if you’ve never experienced to lose everything in a disaster.
If you’ve never been rejected, you will never see the need for God’s mercy and grace. I’m telling you, you’re missing out on the experience of drowning in God’s ocean of love.
Welcome rejection and allow it to bring you to your knees. That’s a great opportunity to pray and seek God desperately.
David was desperate in seeking God’s presence in his life and he was known to be the man after God’s own heart.
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Rejection as how we feel it, is incomparable to how Jesus experienced it.
When you are tempted to see yourself worthless, remember that Jesus bought you at a high price. It’s so high, it costed Him His life. He loved you unconditionally even when you yourself aren’t convinced that dying for you was all worth it… YOU are worth it.
The next time rejection slaps you like a teleserye kontrabida queen,
face it and say,