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Nagmahal, Nasaktan, Nag-(insert verb here).

Trending ang #NagmahalNasaktan memes sa FB ngayon. Aliw na aliw ako sa pagbabasa. Taba rin ng utak ng nakaisip.

Eto yung mga ilang pinaka-benta sakin:

(Credits to owner)

#kilayislife
#pakganire
Nagmahal, Nagasawa, Nagkabilbil yung version ko
#glutapamore

 
tag ko mama ko
Hahaha kulet ‘noh?

Eto last na:

#pogiproblems
Pero bago yan, nagtrend din ito:

 

Bakit ko sya naalala?

Naka-experience rin ako ng paasa moment na ganun.

Nope, this is isn’t about pag-ibig problems. For a single mother, it is something worse.

Tatlong taon na kami, ako at si Neil, na sumusubok makapasa sa isang full scholarship hangang college. Wala itong exam. Kung meron man, naniniwala ako na mapapasa ito ni Neil. Ang kailangan lang, application form, documentary requirements, at least Average performance rating ko at not less than 80% general average ni Neil sa previous school year.

Sa mga unang dalawang taon, hindi kami nakapasok “due to limited slots” pero upon inquiry, ang tunay na dahilan: meron pagkakamali ng pagfile ng records ko.

I tried to appeal pero ang sagot ay “try your luck next year”. Luck? I don’t count on luck. I walk by faith in my God, in Jesus. For a single mother back then, one school year is one great hurdle among many others. Pero, sige, I let go kasi I trusted God that He will provide and He did.

Second trial results came out. Same thing. Bakit ganun? Still, I let go. God is our ultimate Provider. He never failed us.

Naayos na daw yung records ko. So I had high hopes na makakapasok kami this year.

Monday, may tumawag sakin. Nagtatalon ako sa tuwa nang mabalitaan ko na approved na raw yung scholarship! Finally! Good things come to those who wait, sabi ko. Nag celebrate kami sa branch. Nagmessage ako sa mga prayer partners and V-group ko. Ipinamalita ko ang wonderful praise report.

Sabi ko, hintayin ko yung sulat bago ako magpost sa FB. Thursday, dumating sa area office yung sulat. Habang magkausap kami sa telepono, sinabi ko sa area admin namin, buksan mo na yung sulat, para malaman ko yung instructions kung paano mag-claim.

Nanaihimik sya.

“Day, mali..”

Sabi ko, “anong mali? Napunit mo?”

“Nagkamali si Ma’am. Hindi pala approved yung scholarship.”

Ako: *nganga*

Pina-scan at email ko sa kanya yung sulat para mabasa mismo ng mga mata ako ang mga katagang “we regret to inform you.. Due to limited slots…”

Nung mga nakaraan, hindi ko mapigilang umiyak sa branch. Pero ngayon, nablangko lang ako. Manhid na siguro.

Thoughts like, bakit yung isang na first time mag apply ay natanggap?  Samantalang yung spiel na lagi nila ginagamit ay “due to limited slots”. Ano ba ang criteria? Alphabetical ba? Pagandahan? Paramihan ng points?

I don’t mean to discredit the other applicants nor the body that deliberates the applications.

Those are merely questions of a mother who works really hard with hopes to send her son to the best school that will help him develop and reach his full potential. Isang ina na nagpasa, umasa at nasaktan. Nasaktan para sa anak na nagtatanong, ano pang kulang? Hinayaan ko na si Mommy na magspend less time with me at more sa work. Nag-aral ako ng mabuti. Ano pang kulang?

Sabi ko nung hapon, hindi ako iiyak. Pero nung tumawag ako kay mama para ibalita yun, naiyak pa rin ako. Sagana sa luha. Sikip sa dibdib. (As I type this, naluha na naman ako. Don’t worry, I’ll try to make you laugh sa dulo). Sabi ni Mama, “okay lang yan. Si Lord bahala satin. Pray lang tayo.

Dumating si Jowell galing sa trabaho at naabutan niya akong kausap si Mama, umiiyak sa dilim. Nagpaalam na ako kay Mama at hinarap si Jowell. As I told him the story in between sobs, he quietly listened, holding my hands. Then, he hugged me and prayed for me. I appreciate my husband so much. (Single ladies, please pray for a man who will do the same for you).

I trust God that He has a purpose but it just hurts. And I know He knows that.

Lord, what are you trying to teach me? Please help me to know and understand Your will.

Then, during my quiet time, I was reminded of these verses:

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Dami ko nang pinagkwentuhan, “Praise God! Approved na finally! Thank you for standing with us in prayers!” Tapos hindi pala approved. Toinks. #praisereportpamore

So, it boils down to this question:

When our prayers are unanswered or when they are answered with a “NO”, how do we respond?

Do we get remorseful or bitter? Do we lose our faith and walk away from God?

Apostle Paul reminds us,

with or without answered prayers, God is still to be praised. He is worthy.

So, pano ba kita mapapatawa ulit? Eto na lang:

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